Say what you like about Sheikh Mohammed, and I’ve never ever heard anything but praise for him (in contrast to some other well-known types from these here parts - Dancing Girls of Lahore – Contents - Twelve year old Pakistani Virgins, shipped to the Gulf, Sheikhs for the Use of) economically he is the man. In these post Fukuyama days, he stands somewhere between the Sun God and David Hasselhoff in his post Baywatch chest-rippling glory days.
Now, you expect a little hagiography in the Gulf - just look at the adoration allotted to Sheikh Zayed. But frankly, it can get a little old to read hardened journo’s behaving like a bunch of thirteen year olds at a knicker-wetting contest.
Nice then to find another article from the FT, but one which redresses the balance a little. (And to be honest, at least the FT knows where Dubai is. Unbelievably, in March 2007 London's Metro News mixed up a photo of our Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid al Maktoum, with that notorious terrorist badboy, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed. Great stuff London!)
Anyway,
http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/e9966606-f9dc-11db-9b6b-000b5df10621.html
There's totally some spin here - see for example the Haroun al-Rashid type detail of wandering the offices of Dubai picking out the brilliant and the deserving.
'It was, for example, a "mystery shopper" who first noticed Mohammed Gergawi a decade ago, when he was deputy head of the government's economics department. Since then, Mr Gergawi has risen to chairman of Dubai Holding, probably the most powerful of Sheikh Mohammed's companies, as well as to the post of cabinet minister in the UAE federal government...'
Very Arabian Nights, and yet, given that Gergawi was already Deputy Head of the Economics Department, not exactly seeking out a brilliant diamond in the rough hein?
This is sweet too:
"People think we're just building Dubai. But no, we're accommodating 1.5bn people in the central world, here, between the east and west. When we say the west and we think of Europe and America. When we say the east and we think of Japan and China. And we are part of Asia but we are in the Middle East. And that's what I meant by the central world."
Slightly reminiscient of the old Dan Quayle crack about the Middle East existing to stop the Far East and the Near East from encroaching on each other, but a truly important point. Anyone who thinks Dubai is about Dubai is an idiot. It's about the GCC, Asia, the Levant, North Africa, Sub-Saharan Africa.... Any major company who doesn't have an office here is already about ten years behind, and falling further.
Given the traffic, the dust, and the noise of construction, it says something about Sheikh Mohammed that to read an interview with him is to start feeling excited about Dubai all over again.
Saturday, 8 December 2007
I Went to Dubai and All I Wrote Was a Lousy Article
http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/eea3210e-9854-11dc-8ca7-0000779fd2ac.html
A little old, but roughly in order, thoughts as follows:
International journo flew to Dubai and judged it on…. Trader Vics?
Well absolutely, in the same way that the Hard Rock Café perfectly encapsulates all of the subtlety and complex variation of modern Britain
Why didn’t he just order a Tikabukabuka like everyone else?
As if the MacKinsey guys here drink! I work with those guys and they are all Algerian, religious, get three hours sleep a night because of their work schedule and spend their lives pimped out to Saudi to work on implementation of year long contracts. Wave a proper drink around at the other end of the room and they’d all slump face down on the floor, overcome by exhaustion and the distant, marginally alcoholic tikabukabuka fumes
Dubai remains economically dependent on oil despite diversification programmes? Well all hail the mighty revelation… thank seven pound three ounce baby Jesus for this article because otherwise we might actually have deluded ourselves that this is a diversified economy
‘Despite over-dependence on hydrocarbons, Dubai remains a liberal economic paradise.’
……Ok people, just nod and smile at the crazy journalist, because he might be dangerous. Note to Mr FT - Try and set up an office here; try talking with monopolistic state companies such as Etisalat and Du: try to hire staff working for the competition who incur a ban if they try to shift companies, or even try to work out which laws control those contracts you’re so girlishly negotiating, and THEN hit us with your economic prelapsarianism
‘Mix a cocktail and they will come.’ Quick! Someone tell Saudi Arabia!
I wonder who paid to fly this guy in for another Dubai! Dubai! Type article? MacKinsey? Or the notoriously well-funded Department of Tourism and Commerce Marketing?
A little old, but roughly in order, thoughts as follows:
International journo flew to Dubai and judged it on…. Trader Vics?
Well absolutely, in the same way that the Hard Rock Café perfectly encapsulates all of the subtlety and complex variation of modern Britain
Why didn’t he just order a Tikabukabuka like everyone else?
As if the MacKinsey guys here drink! I work with those guys and they are all Algerian, religious, get three hours sleep a night because of their work schedule and spend their lives pimped out to Saudi to work on implementation of year long contracts. Wave a proper drink around at the other end of the room and they’d all slump face down on the floor, overcome by exhaustion and the distant, marginally alcoholic tikabukabuka fumes
Dubai remains economically dependent on oil despite diversification programmes? Well all hail the mighty revelation… thank seven pound three ounce baby Jesus for this article because otherwise we might actually have deluded ourselves that this is a diversified economy
‘Despite over-dependence on hydrocarbons, Dubai remains a liberal economic paradise.’
……Ok people, just nod and smile at the crazy journalist, because he might be dangerous. Note to Mr FT - Try and set up an office here; try talking with monopolistic state companies such as Etisalat and Du: try to hire staff working for the competition who incur a ban if they try to shift companies, or even try to work out which laws control those contracts you’re so girlishly negotiating, and THEN hit us with your economic prelapsarianism
‘Mix a cocktail and they will come.’ Quick! Someone tell Saudi Arabia!
I wonder who paid to fly this guy in for another Dubai! Dubai! Type article? MacKinsey? Or the notoriously well-funded Department of Tourism and Commerce Marketing?
How to Bag Yourself an Oil Rich Lover
LL: JennyF!
LBB: Lisa Lashes!
LL: Oh my God!
LBB: Oh my God, how are you?
LL: Did you hear?
LBB: I heard…
LL: Well….
LBB: You always knew it was for a year….
LL: I know, but he was so lovely… wonderful cheekbones, and the villa was FABULOUS
LBB: Lease ran out?
LL: In so many ways…
LBB: Miss the pool?
LL: Miss the pool parties…
LBB: Who moved in?
LL: Couple of German girls
LBB: Has he?
LL: Of course. Within two days of the pretty one moving in, he….
LBB: Moved in?
LL: Of course
Pause.
LBB: Are you ok?
LL: My diamond tennis bracelets are ok
LBB: Oh thank God! You must have been so worried….
LBB: Lisa Lashes!
LL: Oh my God!
LBB: Oh my God, how are you?
LL: Did you hear?
LBB: I heard…
LL: Well….
LBB: You always knew it was for a year….
LL: I know, but he was so lovely… wonderful cheekbones, and the villa was FABULOUS
LBB: Lease ran out?
LL: In so many ways…
LBB: Miss the pool?
LL: Miss the pool parties…
LBB: Who moved in?
LL: Couple of German girls
LBB: Has he?
LL: Of course. Within two days of the pretty one moving in, he….
LBB: Moved in?
LL: Of course
Pause.
LBB: Are you ok?
LL: My diamond tennis bracelets are ok
LBB: Oh thank God! You must have been so worried….
It's Just...So....Beautiful...
NB (Americanly, enthusiastically): Oh my god! I have the best idea for a business!
JF: (Britishly, gracelessly) Wot?
NB: We’re setting up a business writing the biographies of rich dudes in Dubai, Abu Dhabi and Saudi. Baby, think of the margins! Write one – rags to riches, caravan to owning Caravaggio’s, date palms to IPOs, flog them a limited print run in gold covers, 500 to give out to friends and people they hate, charge ‘em like a hundred thousand dollars per book.
JF: (staring incredulously) Oh. My. God.
NB: I know right?
JF: I don’t know what to say.
NB: Don’t speak.
JF: (Emotionally) That is the single best idea for a business I ever heard in my life. I might cry. Is it weird to cry?
NB: Be strong.
JF: You don’t even have to write them, just set up a template.
NB: My parents were nomadic and lived in a tent in Jebel Ali….
JF: We owe everything to Sheikh Zayed…
NB: We started to see the opportunity in the 80’s…
JF: I owe everything to the example set by my father….
NB: And to God….
JF: I made some fortunate decisions….
NB: Many multinational companies needed a local sponsor….
JF: I remain very close to my roots
NB: I love falcons and driving up and down the desert sands in my four-wheel drive…
JF: My daughters wear Versace….
NB: Each of my sons got a Porsche on his eighteenth birthday….
JF: We all live together in a villa in Jumeirah….
NB: Fourteen sons and seventeen daughters…..
JF: Two wives and thirty maid servants….
NB: Swarovski chandeliers and Iranian carpets….
JF: (regarding him in awe) It’s brilliant, quite simply brilliant
NB: But it’s just, how are we going to get started?
JF: Oh, no worries, I’ll just put it up on my website
JF: (Britishly, gracelessly) Wot?
NB: We’re setting up a business writing the biographies of rich dudes in Dubai, Abu Dhabi and Saudi. Baby, think of the margins! Write one – rags to riches, caravan to owning Caravaggio’s, date palms to IPOs, flog them a limited print run in gold covers, 500 to give out to friends and people they hate, charge ‘em like a hundred thousand dollars per book.
JF: (staring incredulously) Oh. My. God.
NB: I know right?
JF: I don’t know what to say.
NB: Don’t speak.
JF: (Emotionally) That is the single best idea for a business I ever heard in my life. I might cry. Is it weird to cry?
NB: Be strong.
JF: You don’t even have to write them, just set up a template.
NB: My parents were nomadic and lived in a tent in Jebel Ali….
JF: We owe everything to Sheikh Zayed…
NB: We started to see the opportunity in the 80’s…
JF: I owe everything to the example set by my father….
NB: And to God….
JF: I made some fortunate decisions….
NB: Many multinational companies needed a local sponsor….
JF: I remain very close to my roots
NB: I love falcons and driving up and down the desert sands in my four-wheel drive…
JF: My daughters wear Versace….
NB: Each of my sons got a Porsche on his eighteenth birthday….
JF: We all live together in a villa in Jumeirah….
NB: Fourteen sons and seventeen daughters…..
JF: Two wives and thirty maid servants….
NB: Swarovski chandeliers and Iranian carpets….
JF: (regarding him in awe) It’s brilliant, quite simply brilliant
NB: But it’s just, how are we going to get started?
JF: Oh, no worries, I’ll just put it up on my website
Those Dirty Dirty Bombs
Colleague: So ok, the Iranians might have abandoned their nuclear programme back in ’03, but they totally have guys embedded here in Dubai waiting to attack us if the Americans ever hit Tehran.
JennyF: Really?
Colleague: Swear. Like, a thousand deserters have told the Americans and the Emiratis all about it. I saw it in Seven Days a couple of years ago
JennyF: My God….
Colleague: Dirty bombs, totally
JennyF: The Iranians are going to hit Dubai?
Colleague: I know, right?
JennyF: But what is a dirty bomb exactly? I’ve always wondered what that means…
Colleague 2: (passing) One wrapped in pages from Debbie Does Dubai. Insult to injury….
JennyF: Really?
Colleague: Swear. Like, a thousand deserters have told the Americans and the Emiratis all about it. I saw it in Seven Days a couple of years ago
JennyF: My God….
Colleague: Dirty bombs, totally
JennyF: The Iranians are going to hit Dubai?
Colleague: I know, right?
JennyF: But what is a dirty bomb exactly? I’ve always wondered what that means…
Colleague 2: (passing) One wrapped in pages from Debbie Does Dubai. Insult to injury….
Mother India Takes a Payrise
Today we offered jobs to two consultants from Mumbai, both aged under 26, one of whom had three years experience, one a single year. We gave both of them offers at above $6,000/month with a generous bonus and incentives scheme. Both of them turned us down without a second thought.
Actually, that’s not quite true. One of them thought about it, and then said if we would write a bonus equivalent to eight months salary into the contract, he would consider condescending to mention the offer to his girlfriend.
It sounds a little like bitching, but actually, this is fabulous. Salaries in India are rising so astronomically that the software developer and the outsourcing types are already trawling around the region like a bunch of big ol’ flirts. Right now, we’re hitting Sri Lanka, Pakistan, North Africa, and more than anywhere, the Philippines. As economies are liberalized and protectionist barriers broken down, brilliant and qualified people are finally, finally! being given a break, and bloody hell, watch them go.
Emerging markets totally heart Adam Smith.
Actually, that’s not quite true. One of them thought about it, and then said if we would write a bonus equivalent to eight months salary into the contract, he would consider condescending to mention the offer to his girlfriend.
It sounds a little like bitching, but actually, this is fabulous. Salaries in India are rising so astronomically that the software developer and the outsourcing types are already trawling around the region like a bunch of big ol’ flirts. Right now, we’re hitting Sri Lanka, Pakistan, North Africa, and more than anywhere, the Philippines. As economies are liberalized and protectionist barriers broken down, brilliant and qualified people are finally, finally! being given a break, and bloody hell, watch them go.
Emerging markets totally heart Adam Smith.
And the Award for Most Random?
JennyF: And as you will see, our contractual obligations are QUITE CLEARLY laid out on pages seven to nineteen of the original proposal…
Client: Yes, well I….
JennyF: And AS WE HAVE DELIVERED on each and every one of the points laid out therein, we will be seeking redress for the…
Client: Yes, but I think that…
JennyF: And we are more than happy for this to be taken before your board, in fact…
Client: Yes, but….
JennyF: In fact, we will be proactively be seeking mediation from….
Client: I have to go now! I just cut myself on model of the Burj al-Arab!
Click… dial-tone….
Client: Yes, well I….
JennyF: And AS WE HAVE DELIVERED on each and every one of the points laid out therein, we will be seeking redress for the…
Client: Yes, but I think that…
JennyF: And we are more than happy for this to be taken before your board, in fact…
Client: Yes, but….
JennyF: In fact, we will be proactively be seeking mediation from….
Client: I have to go now! I just cut myself on model of the Burj al-Arab!
Click… dial-tone….
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
