Excuses Excuses

(Board meeting)

TD: You missed your plane again?
BH: I tried my best!
TD: How hard can you have tried? In the time since your scheduled departure Orville Wright could have grown the trees and built a whole damn plane!
BH: The queues at the airport were really, really bad… I only got out of the meeting an hour ago….
TD: Uh-huh…
BH: I tried! I really did!
TD: How hard?
BH: I bribed the anti-terrorism unit to escort me to the airport with their lights flashing! I inconvenienced traffic all the way from Beijing to Jakarta!

Pause.

TD: You know we would never countenance behaviour like that…. I hope you’re ashamed
BH: I am, I really am
TD: (audibly, to secretary) Put another couple of thousand on her bonus for creativity.